Two Things Can Be True

Ok, it’s time. I’m sick of hearing myself say it. I think I already mentioned it in an earlier post. But, just in case – TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

We are in a new year. New Year…new you. New Year…same you…but better informed? I don’t know. As always, this is a choose your own adventure situation. So, my choice in 2024? My choice is to understand, accept, and learn to live with the fact that two things can be true. That there is power in the in between. That you don’t have to necessarily live wholly in one reality and sacrifice another. There are options, alternatives, ways to exist in a world that isn’t always black and white.

For too long, I tried to fit into a world where only one reality could possibly be true. And it’s time now to accept that my reality doesn’t fit the script of anyone else’s and sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense in my own world. As I read that back, I realize that it is convoluted but perhaps it will get clearer if I just keep typing. ;-)

So here I go.

If you are a great mother, you can’t possibly be a great professional, wife, friend, or independent woman. If you are a great spouse, you can’t possibly have your own identity, hobbies, talents, friends, and goals. If you are a great professional, you have sacrificed all of the above to be a standout in your job. If you are a great friend to someone, you can’t also be a great wife, mother, professional….or even a great friend to more than one person.

But, here’s the thing. Two things can be true. Or even three or four or a dozen.

If you are hurting from the loss of a love or a life that you knew, that doesn’t mean you can’t find joy in the life you are building. The pain from loss persists but it doesn’t have to paint you into a corner of despair. You can still cry about the loss…be dismayed at the wasted time…and enjoy the moments of peace that are brought to you by unexpected people who are actually worthy.

Two things can be true.

So as I look back over 2023, I think about the surprises that landed at my doorstep. The heartbreak, the devastation, the absolute tsunami that rained down on the life I had planned and sometimes, it still puts me on my knees. But, at the same time, and maybe even more often than not, I think about what might have happened if that tragedy of a wake up call hadn’t knocked at my door. How many years would I have squandered trying to make myself happy in a situation that was eating me alive slowly. So, I am blessed to have been slapped in the face but still angry and sad that it happened the way it did.

Two things can be true.

So I sit here, filled with joy and a little bit of sadness. Sadness at time lost but joy for what’s to come. Forty five years in and I still feel like my whole life is ahead of me. Joints pop. I can’t have more than two drinks without a hangover. My toes curl up and cramp for no reason at all. I’m tired at a ridiculously early hour but still, every day feels new…fresh. I am whole. Or at least, wholly alive. And I could just have a few years left on this earth or a few decades. I dunno because…

Two things can be true.

So, take time in that in between. Take a moment to recognize that with pain, comes growth. We evolve. It’s not always easy. But the gift in suffering is the recognition of peace.

Suffering. Peace.

Two things can be true.