There's a special kind of exhaustion that doesn't just live in your body - it rents space in your soul. The kind that accumulates slowly, over years of being capable - a fixer - someone who keeps moving even when life hands out plot twists that nobody asked for. And now here we are: surgeries,... Continue Reading →
I can’t. I can. I wish. I live.
I feel guilty tonight. I don't know why. It's just a feeling of not doing...or being...quite enough. For myself. For my family. For my friends. I can't seem to put my finger on it. Can't quite get a grasp on the why of it all. I just - sometimes - can't. And I guess this... Continue Reading →
Embracing Time: Gratitude for the Stories My Hands Tell
That's my 'pretty' hand... Yesterday, I got home after a long day at work, juggling my work bag, lunch bag, purse, sunglasses, keys, coffee mug, and water bottle as I made my way inside. In the process of shutting the car door, I broke a nail. Then, as I bent down to pick up the... Continue Reading →
Is it me? Am I the drama? Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
Just a mish mash of quotes intended to evoke memories of memes and TikToks from days gone by? Perhaps. But looked at through the eyes of someone who has been labeled as too much, they resonate on a much deeper and emotional level. Too much. Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too outspoken. Too loud. Too direct.... Continue Reading →
Where is the pause button?
It's 2024. We have an almost magical ability to press pause whenever we want - on videos, podcasts, phone calls, movies - whatever. Technology has given us this amazing control over how we engage with the world. In fact, if I wanted to, I could just tell artificial intelligence (AI) that I wanted to write... Continue Reading →
Rip Tide
I'm struggling y'all. Struggling to find balance. To find peace. In some ways, my life is more peaceful than ever...more sure...more solid. In others, I am confronted with frustrations I thought were behind me. I don't understand how it is so hard for the world to see what is right in front of them. I... Continue Reading →
The in Between
I have a problem. My problem lies in the in between. I am historically uncomfortable with the unknown. In most cases the unknown is...other people. I can't control them, their feelings, their actions, their emotions, their decisions. Nor should I want to. But I can tell you one thing - I have really really tried. If I had my way, I'd... Continue Reading →
The Five Bullshit Stages of Grief
Yeah, that's right. I said it. Grief is bullshit. So sue me. DENIAL. ANGER. BARGAINING. DEPRESSION. ACCEPTANCE. And it's a choose your own adventure situation...only you don't have any real choice in the matter. You think you get to pick what order the stages go in or whether or not (and how often) you'll be... Continue Reading →
Worth the Fight
Life is different now. As I sit here, just a few months shy of 45 (gasp!), I reflect back on the little girl that once was. Not the freckle-faced 8-year-old girl, full of mischief and fanciful dreams but the girl that was 25 ...and then 35 and now, almost 45. She's not gone, that girl.... Continue Reading →
How to be Cool? Stop telling me you’re cool!
In my longish list of pet peeves, this ranks in the top 5 without a doubt. Over the course of my career (er...life), I've learned one or two valuable things along the way. One of them is this. You know how to tell if someone is really Special Forces? They don't TELL you they're Special... Continue Reading →