There's a special kind of exhaustion that doesn't just live in your body - it rents space in your soul. The kind that accumulates slowly, over years of being capable - a fixer - someone who keeps moving even when life hands out plot twists that nobody asked for. And now here we are: surgeries,... Continue Reading →
I can’t. I can. I wish. I live.
I feel guilty tonight. I don't know why. It's just a feeling of not doing...or being...quite enough. For myself. For my family. For my friends. I can't seem to put my finger on it. Can't quite get a grasp on the why of it all. I just - sometimes - can't. And I guess this... Continue Reading →
The in Between
I have a problem. My problem lies in the in between. I am historically uncomfortable with the unknown. In most cases the unknown is...other people. I can't control them, their feelings, their actions, their emotions, their decisions. Nor should I want to. But I can tell you one thing - I have really really tried. If I had my way, I'd... Continue Reading →
Two Things Can Be True
Ok, it's time. I'm sick of hearing myself say it. I think I already mentioned it in an earlier post. But, just in case - TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE. We are in a new year. New Year...new you. New Year...same you...but better informed? I don't know. As always, this is a choose your own adventure situation. So, my choice in 2024? My... Continue Reading →
Reaping What They Sowed
Sometimes a wound cuts so deep that it is almost impossible to not allow it to paint your perspective. What would otherwise be a day full of sunshine, suddenly turns the slightest bit grey and a little bit bleak. It's not that you don't feel the happiness or relish in the gifts that you've been... Continue Reading →
The Five Bullshit Stages of Grief
Yeah, that's right. I said it. Grief is bullshit. So sue me. DENIAL. ANGER. BARGAINING. DEPRESSION. ACCEPTANCE. And it's a choose your own adventure situation...only you don't have any real choice in the matter. You think you get to pick what order the stages go in or whether or not (and how often) you'll be... Continue Reading →
The Little Black Dress I Loathe
Some of you already know. Some of you have recently had the unfortunate occasion that required you to pull that dusty old little black dress out of the back of your closet. I dug mine out at 530 this morning. Mine has a little shine to it. It's really more silver than black and I... Continue Reading →
A Year and Some Change
Today was a great day. I purposely eliminated everything from my schedule. I needed a day open. A day free of obligations. No social events, no phone calls or emails, no tasks that required doing - just me, myself, and I. Only, I haven't been alone. A few minutes ago, I watched Vince Gill and... Continue Reading →
A Dog’s Love
Y'all, I am not sure if I can get through this one but I am gonna try. Every so often, I'll get a photo from my ex of my dog, Cassie. She's 12 now and, by the looks of it, doing pretty great. Does it break my heart to get these rare insights into Cassie's... Continue Reading →
Grateful to be Broken
'Tis the season to be thankful so, here I am giving thanks for all the terrible moments that almost broke me and in some cases, left permanent scars. Gotta love a sense of irony - so, thanks world for absolutely shattering me on so many occasions that I was starting to feel like the Book... Continue Reading →