Where is the pause button?

It’s 2024. We have an almost magical ability to press pause whenever we want – on videos, podcasts, phone calls, movies – whatever. Technology has given us this amazing control over how we engage with the world. In fact, if I wanted to, I could just tell artificial intelligence (AI) that I wanted to write a blog on this topic and off it would go. But the irony in all that? The irony is that, the more control we have, the harder it is to truly stop time.

Maybe we can press pause, take a breath, catch up later but the truth is, the world keeps turning. Time marches forward and the demands, the pressure, the stress – they just accumulate in the background even if you hit that magical pause button. Sure, we can delay the need to respond to an email, ignore the news, or put off a tough decision – but the emotional and mental weight catches up at some point, doesn’t it? Pause doesn’t stop time – it just suspends it in our minds – while life carries on and whatever it is you’re hitting pause on has this relentless ability to….catch up.

When I was in my twenties…or even thirties, I thought (like a lot of people do) that as I got older, life would naturally slow down. I thought there would be fewer demands on my time, responsibilities would ease, work would get less stressful and that I’d have the opportunity to live and move at a more deliberate and measured pace. But that’s an illusion.

Aging doesn’t equate to a slower life – it just brings different kinds of demands. Time doesn’t slow down as we age but our perception changes. Days that seemed to drag on forever now go by in a blink. The frantic pace of ‘youth’ might give way to a more reflective stage of life but with age, comes different pressures — health, family, finances.

Ultimately, we’re faced with the same question at every stage – how do we live fully within time, instead of trying to fight it? Maybe the real goal is to keep pace with time in a way that feels meaningful and balanced. Easier said than done I know.

So I guess maybe we don’t get more time as we get older. Life doesn’t slow down. But maybe we can learn more acutely how precious time is.

I feel like my life is speeding along at a remarkable clip and I have absolutely zilch control over the speed with which it flies by. It just goes. Babies get older (though I have none), hearts are broken and heal miraculously, old stressors disappear and new ones take their place. I find immense joy in the smallest moments with the people I hold most dear but there’s seemingly never enough time to fully enjoy any of it.

And then. AND THEN. And then I remember to give myself grace. Life goes by in a blink, sure. It’s frantic and manic and loud and peaceful and beautiful and filled with joy and sadness. Every single thought and feeling we have? It’s all a blessing. I get wrapped up. I know I do. I get wrapped up in things that don’t matter but the thing is, with age I have come to realize that I can forgive myself for being distracted by things that aren’t that important and there’s still time…there’s always time…to enjoy what really matters.

What matters to me won’t matter to you but I’ll put it here anyway. It’s the way my mom’s smile and laugh could warm the coldest soul. It’s the way my best friend will stop whatever she’s doing and just listen to my ridiculous rants. It’s the way the love of my life has popped up out of nowhere and brought me trust and peace and love – something I never thought I’d have again. It’s a sister that is the yin to my yang. A brother that is ridiculously talented and just stepping into a creativity that he’s had all along. It’s nieces and nephews and babies that give me hope that the future is not lost. It’s the memories of the friends and family members who are not with me anymore – but are. It’s the sleepy corn chip smelling feet of Izzy. It’s horror movie trivia on a Sunday morning. It’s the dream that there may be a pause button for me yet – and that I’ll be able to spend that suspended time with the people I love.

What matters isn’t that we slow – it’s the relationships we cultivate, the moments of connection, the experiences that bring us joy and the impact we have on the people around us. Time spent with our loved ones, meaningful conversations, and quiet moments of reflection or even comfortable silence. Those moments hold more value than anything we can measure by deadlines or achievements.

In the end, the pace may never slow but what matters is how we choose to spend it. We don’t need a pause button, we just need each other’s love.