Whelp, it’s been a little over a year so, wouldn’t you know it – it’s time to turn my whole life upside down and move…again.
This is old hat for me. I’ve moved 13 times in 15 years. But this time is different. They’re all different but this is emotional in a different way. When I moved to Louisiana from Texas to join my dear husband, it marked the first time I’ve ever lived in a “real” house…something not attached by a wall to someone else’s home. We have a doggy door and a pool and grass that needs mowing. I planted a little herb garden (that is doing well – gasp!). There’s a garage for goodness sake! I have been adulting…hard core. It’s been lovely.
It was also the first time I moved in with someone who made my soul happy. Someone who lifts me up when I’m down, who laughs at my terrible jokes and pretends to like cooking shows and horror movies probably more than he really does – just because he loves spending time with me so much.
And now I’m moving, without him, to a tiny apartment six hours away.
But this is life. A great job has called my name and it’s too good to turn down. I am not a live-to-work person but this felt different. It felt like a calling and it was as if the timing was determined by something or someone bigger than myself. There have been difficult conversations. Neither of us is sleeping very well. But we are determined to face this adventure head on and look at it as an opportunity and not an inconvenience.
So, it’s back to a bit of a vagabond life for me (and for him but since he’s not writing this, I can talk in the first person). We’ll be burning up the highways between Texas and Louisiana again and I’ll probably endure more wayward rocks hitting my car windshield or the occasional suicidal raccoon. I hope not but my poor little car seems to be a magnet for such things. I have learned how to handle these events with some grace at this point.
Now I just hope I can handle not seeing the love of my life on a daily basis with the same grace.
We will keep our eye on the prize. Ultimately, we will reunite on a permanent and more proximity-friendly basis and we will have the life we want in Texas. This is a step in that direction. I choose to look at it as a step toward our future and not away from each other. Because that’s what it is.
But there are moments. There are these gut wrenching moments of stress and emotion when I wonder, “What the heck are you doing to this perfect little life you’ve created?!” Then comes his smile and a reassuring hug – it’s going to be ok. And I know this to be true. We are in this together – I will sacrifice the Bartesian and he will turn the other cheek when I’ve packed my 17th box of clothes. It’s what people who truly love each other do.
I’m proud of us. I’m proud we’re able to communicate and work together and that we do so mostly without frustration, fighting, or judging.
So, I guess this is just me letting you all know why I’ve been a little quieter than usual and why that will probably be the case for the next couple of weeks. But, once I get settled in, I’ll need the distraction of writing again. I hope you’ll still be here. In the meantime, maybe you’ll forgive some “posts on the fly”. A photo of packing chaos or perhaps some notable roadkill (I saw an alligator dead on the side of the road one time – roadkill just hits different in Louisiana. Hits different. BWAHAHAHAHA! See what I did there?). But I doubt I’ll have time to wax poetic about mindfulness and healing for a bit so, hang in there with me??
This makes me think I should have taken some of those blogging tips to heart. I should have written a bunch of stuff and organized the posting dates so I’d have filler. But, that’s ridiculous! Even reading that I know it’s not my personality. I have no patience for waiting to publish things. If I’d written 5 posts and scheduled them to be published at later dates, I guarantee I would have had a moment of weakness and posted them all – an hour apart. Probably why I’ll never be blogging famous! 😉
Wish me luck friends – this is going to be an interesting ride!